If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize