I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
