My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
