Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
