I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
