Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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