I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
