At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
