I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
