So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
