The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just high enough for therapy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
