I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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