Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
