He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize