I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
