No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
