I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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