We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
