Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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