Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
