yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
