Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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