I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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