therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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