If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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