ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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