If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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