we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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