he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Even my vagina gasped.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
