There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
