mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
