I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
