I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
