so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
