I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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