I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
