i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
