ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
