i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
