Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if only i could text you this smell
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
