You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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