Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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