So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
