Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
