Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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