I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize