Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
