A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
