I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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