It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
