dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
