Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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