I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
