none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
