i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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