Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
