I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
