Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
